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Courage rocks!

29.06.2013 01.24
What does the word courage mean to you? What is a courageous person like in your opinion? Definitions for these two can probably be found just as many as there are people in this world. It's amazing sometimes, how different people can see the same thing in such different ways. Courage can be a very positive and empowering word for one, whereas it can cause negative emotions, fear and anxiety for another person.

The word courage is very close to my heart. Nowadays it's one of my top four values and something that I couldn't imagine living without. 
But it wasn't always like this. In my past I had more fears than anyone could ever imagine, I was afraid of nearly everything possible. Now that I look back, I see how all those fears have shaped my life. The list of things I didn't do and experiences I missed just because of fear, is longer than I'd like to admit. I was in bad relationships and uncomfortable situations only because I didn't have the courage to be completely honest with myself and move on. I kept other people in uncomfortable situations as I didn't have the guts to be honest with them.  
Now it's hard to believe I ever was that fearful as these days I consider myself quite courageous.

What happened in between then and now?
Well, at some point I decided to move abroad to live with my foreign boyfriend. All the details were well considered and starting a new life in the new country with my boyfriend seemed like a dream come true. But in the end things turned out a little different than I had expected. 
After a couple of months in the new country, I ended up being a victim of domestic violence. A bit further from there, I had to escape from our home.
So, within a short period of time from the so called dream come true, I had ended up in the miserable situation of being in a new country without work, home or proper language skills. Plus I had an ex boyfriend who was constantly threatening me over the phone.
I made one of the most courageous decisions of my life and decided to stay in that small town instead of going back to my home country. It was almost miraculous, the way I managed to build up my new life bit by bit, a life that may even have seemed ideal to many people. 
However, the first year I was still very frightened and I was keeping a low profile as my ex still kept on threatening me. I was so afraid. I hardly had the courage to walk outside on the town, or to make new friends. And because of this I had to look at the so greatly feared loneliness deep in the eyes.

 
I arrived in a turning point. I understood that I could live the rest of my life in fear and do nearly nothing, or I could simply start living. I had already been aware and tried to control everything and still things had gone so wrong. Besides, if I had been beaten up in my own home, what worse could happen outside my home?  And so I changed the direction of my life with the simple decision of not being afraid anymore.

So, nowadays  courage  is one of my most important values that holds a variety of different things. Naturally courage means to have the guts to do all kinds of outrageous things that make the adrenalin run through my veins, but it also means many other things.
It takes courage to get back on one's feet and move on after a failure. It shows courage to be yourself and hold on to your opinions also when everyone else seems to think differently. You need courage in the making of your choices especially when the people from the outside think your choices are totally irrational or crazy. It shows courage when you manage to trust and believe that things will work out. Even when the situation feels hopeless.  Courage is to put yourself on the line with things and in situations you believe in. It takes courage to let life carry you. Courageous people show their feelings in good and in bad. It shows courage when you can admit you're afraid. 

For me, courage is also time management.  I may for example save lots of time spent on thinking from people if I have the courage to honestly tell them how things are. This goes for work just as well as for private life. I also save my own time if I have the guts to leave situations and relationships at the point where I understand it simply doesn't work. 
 
I appreciate and admire courageous people. They inspire me to try and be even more courageous myself. And every time I find the courage to do something I never thought I could do, I  get an incredible energy rush and feel more empowered to continue towards new courageous adventures. Courage rocks! 

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